As most of you know it has been a long road for me and for the members of Cobalt. In the middle of everything I have been through I was fortunate enough to finish, The Harder They Fall. It was a way for me to deal with all of the issues I was dealing iwth
With that said it has been very difficult for me to get back to Je Ne Regrette Rien and even Angel Black White and Gray because these works have a bit more of me and my emotions in them.
To be honest I don't know how long it will take me to get back to the person I read in my previous posts.
However for a few minutes out of the day when I am able to interact with readers it really does brighten my day. I've gotten a lot of support from Cobalt fans and that has meant the world to me. I want to be able to give something back, so I hope this post helps.
I'm aware the LA magazine has some information regarding some of the things that have been happening and I must agree that JB's comment on our tragedy speaks volumes. and by comment I mean that my mother was a matriarch in a modern sense of the word and we will never stop mourning her.
For those of you who are friends I'm willing to share more personal thoughts
I'd like to dedicate the remainder of Je Ne Regrette Rien to her.
Chapter 6
It has been a long time. Chapter 6 was a filler chaper but it bares somes connection to August, the short story collection I wrote. Chapter 6 acknowledges that Claudia and Mr. Fierro have met before (he has also met Clair but she doesn't remember). Rosalie just happens to look a lot like her parents so Claudia but two and two together.
Music
Music has always been apart of my life and I have found some inspirational songs to keep me going and one song that I absolutely love, but is not featured on this playlist
Chapter 7
There are so many parts of this chapter that makes me uneasy and I fought with myself on whether I should change it but I didn't, so I ask you all not to hold back on anything.
+1+ - Supermassve Black Hole - Muse
+2+ - Unchained Melody- Righteous Brothers
+3+ - Warm Whispers - Missy Higgins
+ 4+ Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews
Just posting this is making me feel better already. (:
Chapter 7
Friday, May 13, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Sparkle, Sparkle
Will's End
I have been struggling so much with my challenge piece and now SH has raised the bar. Since I guess I have the power I would "christian" it cannon. It had a few rough spots for example Mr. Fierro's "tear stains" humanize him to much but you could almost be my ghost writer
" I wished I could stop and capture the moment but, anyone I would share it with was already here."
My favorite line.
I like the Kayla/Emile/Clara interaction it was something light hearted compared to the "darker" material we often dabble in.
Pictures of You
Now that we have rounded out our
Chapter 6
This chapter is a little different. I really wanted this story to stand alone but chapter six does reference something that happens in the first "anthology" in August. It is not a major connection and you don't even need to re-read it. I'll explain in the author's note.
Rainer receives some mysterious letters in her mailbox and Juliet gaines some insight into Clara's mind but does she really know what she is thinking ? Well, Clara seems to have a lot of thinking to do now that she is engaged but more importantly who is Cal ?
Playlist
+1+ -Lux Aternea - Clint Manswell
+2+ You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol
CHAPTER SIX
Sunday, April 3, 2011
I flew to close to the sun
In my attempts to get ahead of JNRR I began working on the longest and most pivotal chapter. I had found the perfect place to hide from my kids set my ipod to shuffle and I started putting the pieces together. . . and then I lost the entire file.
It's gone . I replaced the file with my notes.
Fortunatley re writing will be easier and it won't effect my posting flow.. . hopefully
I too was planning on doing an April Fool's Joke in which I revealed in whatever chapter of JNRR that I was working on that Juliet Wakefield was really a doctor and Clara was a mental patient and LL-JNRR was the results of her hallucinations and the other characters in the novel were all people who worked in the hospital. I know it sounds like Sucker Punch.
It would have been to much work to make it convincing
I also had a tiny feeling Encounters was written on the fly because I did some tiny editing to LL and during Mr. Fierro's description I changed the word "carvat" to "tie"
SH mentioned her favorite serial was Hidden and I decided to declare Spirits and Angel to be my favorite. I feel as if it is really solid with the other works there is some shakeness, for example
Free Spirits - Tomas leaving for New York and staying could have been better explained. It's the one tiny apart that I don't like.
Litany Lane - I would probably do away with the "political-fairytale" ascpect I was going for
HOF -I debated on wheather to add flashbacks between Lucie and Addison inbetween the present day story and maybe it would have fleshed it out more, but this isn't a novel
DSI - Same as above I would have put more "episodes" of what happened in the three years past and I probably would have given Clara a different love interest (hint she was supposed to be fall in love with a busboy/musician at her grandparents restaurant for 3 chapters but I thought it would be more emotional if I killed of a character already introduced.)
Everyone is back in New York and just when Clara thought she knew what to expect she finds her whole family has been taken into police custody and she's next.
Playlist
+1+ - All Of This Past - Sara Bettens
+2+ - The Entertainer -Scott Joplin
+3+ - Happiness - The Fray (it's been a while since a Fray song)

CHAPTER FIVE
It's gone . I replaced the file with my notes.
Fortunatley re writing will be easier and it won't effect my posting flow.. . hopefully
LOL, Shawna
I too was planning on doing an April Fool's Joke in which I revealed in whatever chapter of JNRR that I was working on that Juliet Wakefield was really a doctor and Clara was a mental patient and LL-JNRR was the results of her hallucinations and the other characters in the novel were all people who worked in the hospital. I know it sounds like Sucker Punch.
It would have been to much work to make it convincing
I also had a tiny feeling Encounters was written on the fly because I did some tiny editing to LL and during Mr. Fierro's description I changed the word "carvat" to "tie"
Like +
SH mentioned her favorite serial was Hidden and I decided to declare Spirits and Angel to be my favorite. I feel as if it is really solid with the other works there is some shakeness, for example
Free Spirits - Tomas leaving for New York and staying could have been better explained. It's the one tiny apart that I don't like.
Litany Lane - I would probably do away with the "political-fairytale" ascpect I was going for
HOF -I debated on wheather to add flashbacks between Lucie and Addison inbetween the present day story and maybe it would have fleshed it out more, but this isn't a novel
DSI - Same as above I would have put more "episodes" of what happened in the three years past and I probably would have given Clara a different love interest (hint she was supposed to be fall in love with a busboy/musician at her grandparents restaurant for 3 chapters but I thought it would be more emotional if I killed of a character already introduced.)
Chapter 5
Everyone is back in New York and just when Clara thought she knew what to expect she finds her whole family has been taken into police custody and she's next.
Playlist
+1+ - All Of This Past - Sara Bettens
+2+ - The Entertainer -Scott Joplin
+3+ - Happiness - The Fray (it's been a while since a Fray song)
CHAPTER FIVE
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Now with more pictures and less text ?
* The post font was bothering me.
Je' Ne Regrette Rien : Chapter 3
Chapter three was pretty straight foward I know it may have raised a few more questions but it is a mystery. I'm really hoping to have more Emile in this story because he is a character I really like.
Also I hit an unexpected stride with JNRR but I promise to take a post to catch up with Tomas and Sofia.
Chapter 4
Pictures
Yes as the title indicates I will try to place more pictures into this story. I've always felt that the story didn't have the right tone for pictures but I found some I liked. I wish I had more to blog about.
Clara is in England but everyone seems to be hiding something.. .even Rosalie, Mr. Fierro's moving back to New York and if Oleanders killed Martin that must mean. . .
Playlist
This chapter doesn't really have a playlist but I decided to throw in some Einaudi because his music worked so well in Desert Sand Iris.

Chapter FOUR
Je' Ne Regrette Rien : Chapter 3
Chapter three was pretty straight foward I know it may have raised a few more questions but it is a mystery. I'm really hoping to have more Emile in this story because he is a character I really like.
Also I hit an unexpected stride with JNRR but I promise to take a post to catch up with Tomas and Sofia.
Chapter 4
Pictures
Yes as the title indicates I will try to place more pictures into this story. I've always felt that the story didn't have the right tone for pictures but I found some I liked. I wish I had more to blog about.
Clara is in England but everyone seems to be hiding something.. .even Rosalie, Mr. Fierro's moving back to New York and if Oleanders killed Martin that must mean. . .
Playlist
This chapter doesn't really have a playlist but I decided to throw in some Einaudi because his music worked so well in Desert Sand Iris.
Chapter FOUR
Friday, March 25, 2011
I am really lost for a title ?
Challenge !
Recently Shawna and I agreed to switch things up with a little challenge in which I would write a (correct me if I'm wrong) side story to the Veritas series. I choose this because I used to love science fiction when I was teenager. I understand this is cyberpunk so we will see how it goes ! Any advice ?
Je' Ne Regrette Rien I really did not think I would be able to update with how hectic things have been, but after moving into a new house I am finding myself with so much free time, just listening to music.
Picspirations
I though I might give picks for the rest of the DeLune family. I found myself inadvertently choosing certain pictures for a reason.
Clair DeLune (47)
![]() |
| Elizabeth Hurley |
Claudia (30) & Derek (28)
![]() |
| Victoria Beckham |
![]() |
| Zachary Quinto |
Clarice (28) & Colin (35)
![]() | |||
| Lacy Chabert |
| ||||||||||||
| Jesse Tyler Fergunson |
Rosalie (4) & Clara (26) and Mr. Fierro
![]() |
| Suri Cruise* |
![]() | |
| Katie Holmes |
![]() |
| Kevin Zegers |
Formatting that last one took me almost 30 minutes
* I feel bad for posting a picture of her, but her outfit is perfect.
Andover House
![]() | ||
| Pink House in New York |
I don't have one for Martin DeLune yet
Chapter 3
Rainer is accusing Clara, Clara is accusing Mr. Fierro, Mr. Fierro is accusing Clara, Juliet is accusing everyone and why do they keep mentioning Thanksgiving ?
Playlist
+1+ - The Word Spins Madly On - The Weepies
+2+ She is The Sunlight - Trading Yesterday
+3+ TIme Lapse Lifeline - Maria Taylor
Chapter 3
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I hope you don't get whiplash (:
ABWG Preview
Chapter one is complete so I decided to post it just to give you a taste. I have been holding on to this long before it was requested and putting it out there helps to shape the rest.
So, go ahead and read it and then under the cut there will be extra information about it.
Playlist
The music is not as strict for chapter one but as the story goes on it gets more exact. One song absolutely makes this story but we haven't gotten there yet. For some reason the playlist is acting up so a link can be found here
All the Way Down - Gale Hansard
Near To You - A fine Frenzy


Chapter 1, Angel Black, White and Gray
ABWG Section
I know strange to start a story about Sofia off with Tomas' POV but I couldn't stop myself that was how it came to me. As I mentioned I am a big fan of Tomas and I could kick myself for the times that I had to stop from writing him like another male character.
I think the other reason I did this because this is probably the first installment we are going to have where Tomas is actually not on drugs so that is something to think about in regards to how he is trying to function. I wish I had more to say about Sofia but that will come in later.
I find that this story will have similarities with UL2 I couldn't help but to use it for inspiration. I hope you don't mind SH !
Je Ne' Regrette Rien
This chapter was just a little head start. I realize that it may have seemed like Clara doesn't have a daughter but she was lying to Rainer. I know I failed the Bechdel Test in every other story and someone mentioned how well I was doing here but it was almost unintentional
Juliet is quite obviously based on Emma Watson
Detectvive Olive Rainer, I can picture Kate Walsh
Becuase I always pick a new one Natalie Portman in her Dior ad reminded me of Clara.
Chapter 1 and 2 were originally one chapter but I split them up for "tension" but I feel like this is a god set-up point.
So, where is Clara going now that she has her sister's passport ?
Playlist
Features 2 versions of the same song Broken by Seether and Amy Lee.

Chapter 2
Chapter one is complete so I decided to post it just to give you a taste. I have been holding on to this long before it was requested and putting it out there helps to shape the rest.
So, go ahead and read it and then under the cut there will be extra information about it.
Playlist
The music is not as strict for chapter one but as the story goes on it gets more exact. One song absolutely makes this story but we haven't gotten there yet. For some reason the playlist is acting up so a link can be found here
All the Way Down - Gale Hansard
Near To You - A fine Frenzy
Chapter 1, Angel Black, White and Gray
ABWG Section
I know strange to start a story about Sofia off with Tomas' POV but I couldn't stop myself that was how it came to me. As I mentioned I am a big fan of Tomas and I could kick myself for the times that I had to stop from writing him like another male character.
I think the other reason I did this because this is probably the first installment we are going to have where Tomas is actually not on drugs so that is something to think about in regards to how he is trying to function. I wish I had more to say about Sofia but that will come in later.
I find that this story will have similarities with UL2 I couldn't help but to use it for inspiration. I hope you don't mind SH !
Je Ne' Regrette Rien
Chapter 1 and Prologue
This chapter was just a little head start. I realize that it may have seemed like Clara doesn't have a daughter but she was lying to Rainer. I know I failed the Bechdel Test in every other story and someone mentioned how well I was doing here but it was almost unintentional
Pictures
Detectvive Olive Rainer, I can picture Kate Walsh
Becuase I always pick a new one Natalie Portman in her Dior ad reminded me of Clara.
Chapter 2, JNRR
Chapter 1 and 2 were originally one chapter but I split them up for "tension" but I feel like this is a god set-up point.
Connections
In a complete non-cannon way the events that happen between chapter 1 and 2 of JNRR would be Standing In The Rain. But ABWG takes place in Summer 2010 and JNRR takes place in December 2011 so therefore it can not actually happen it just might explain why Clara appeared the way she did when I wrote that.Chapter 2
So, where is Clara going now that she has her sister's passport ?
Playlist
Features 2 versions of the same song Broken by Seether and Amy Lee.
Chapter 2
Which Web Serial Is Up To Bat ? ( AKA WHAT AN UPDATE !)
@ Shawna
Original Spirits
SH kept telling me how inspired she was by the orginal spirits and I just recently read over it and I realize I could never flesh out that story properly. I can see the inspiration used in Veritas I always said it wasn't the kind of story I could tell but it was one you told beautifully. It's all yours if you want it !
Methodology
I was conflicted on which Web serial to post first. orginally I wanted to post whichever one was 10k first but they both reached that point, so that went out the window. Angel : Black White & Gray will be shorter than Je Ne' Regrette Rien.
Recap
Je Ne' Regrette Rien
Incase you couldn't telll I consider this the fifth installment in the Litany Lane series because I consider August a part on it's own and I love the word pentalogy. Admittedly "Paranormal Mystery" may have been a slight understatement but I'll let you be the judge of that.
Angel : Black, White and Gray
I knew I had to keep up with the name thematic here but I wanted to explore black, white and gray areas of life. I've mentioned numerous time that this story will cover the loose ends in Dark Ange land I'm sure people who know me will point out to me when I get to "real" but it a large part of the process. Also I think the 'trailer' was meant to come across as a little more abstract.
Click To see the first chapter of . . .
Why ?
I have such big plans for ABWG and there is so much that still needs to come together for it to feel real. ABWG and JNRR are on two complelty different planes, the somewhat "surrealism" tone of JNRR made it so easy to write. I really need ABWG to be perfect before I start posting it.
JNRR Prologue and Chapter 1
There is not much to say except this takes place 6 months after Desert Sand Iris. Quite a few chapters are already written so maybe I will inter-post this with ABWG . This will give me something to do while I am taking breaks from writing my memoir !
As always I've been hoarding this chapter since November so it's sad to see it go.
Music
Prologue (auto-music !)
+1+ - Bodecia - Enya

Prologue
Chapter 1
Original Spirits
SH kept telling me how inspired she was by the orginal spirits and I just recently read over it and I realize I could never flesh out that story properly. I can see the inspiration used in Veritas I always said it wasn't the kind of story I could tell but it was one you told beautifully. It's all yours if you want it !
Methodology
I was conflicted on which Web serial to post first. orginally I wanted to post whichever one was 10k first but they both reached that point, so that went out the window. Angel : Black White & Gray will be shorter than Je Ne' Regrette Rien.
Recap
Je Ne' Regrette Rien
Incase you couldn't telll I consider this the fifth installment in the Litany Lane series because I consider August a part on it's own and I love the word pentalogy. Admittedly "Paranormal Mystery" may have been a slight understatement but I'll let you be the judge of that.
Angel : Black, White and Gray
I knew I had to keep up with the name thematic here but I wanted to explore black, white and gray areas of life. I've mentioned numerous time that this story will cover the loose ends in Dark Ange land I'm sure people who know me will point out to me when I get to "real" but it a large part of the process. Also I think the 'trailer' was meant to come across as a little more abstract.
Click To see the first chapter of . . .
Why ?
I have such big plans for ABWG and there is so much that still needs to come together for it to feel real. ABWG and JNRR are on two complelty different planes, the somewhat "surrealism" tone of JNRR made it so easy to write. I really need ABWG to be perfect before I start posting it.
JNRR Prologue and Chapter 1
There is not much to say except this takes place 6 months after Desert Sand Iris. Quite a few chapters are already written so maybe I will inter-post this with ABWG . This will give me something to do while I am taking breaks from writing my memoir !
As always I've been hoarding this chapter since November so it's sad to see it go.
Music
Prologue (auto-music !)
Chapter 1
+1+ - Bodecia - Enya
Here we go . . .
Prologue
Chapter 1
Thursday, January 13, 2011
What is in a name ?
@ Shawna - Honey, I realized in a comment I mentioned Blue Valentine and The Reader. I meant to say Blue Valentine and Revolutionary Road. It will probably make more sense now (:
Names
As you all know I am working on two stories right now something that is very new for me. I thought it might be impossible but I was able to sketch out both plots rather well and when I was done I found a set of great names for these new projects. Instead of telling you what they are my SIL, her daughter and I worked together to create these little videos under the cut.
Highlight to view extra notes
Names
As you all know I am working on two stories right now something that is very new for me. I thought it might be impossible but I was able to sketch out both plots rather well and when I was done I found a set of great names for these new projects. Instead of telling you what they are my SIL, her daughter and I worked together to create these little videos under the cut.
They are best viewed on Youtube or in Full screen
Highlight to view extra notes
Angel : Black White and Gray - has two names because I original wanted to call it Black, White and Gray but it refers back to Lost Angels so I wanted to incorporate the name
Je' Ne Regrette Nein - This is a popular french phrase and song and seeing as the DeLune family is French I didn't want to translate it. As I'm sure you know it means "I regret, nothing". It is also a song that is in Inception.
The Je' is pronounced like in J'adore.
The music used in Je' Ne Regrette Nien is Vast - One More Day and Pride by Syntax
Angel : Black White and Gray used Far Far, away by Nickleback
The music used in Je' Ne Regrette Nien is Vast - One More Day and Pride by Syntax
Angel : Black White and Gray used Far Far, away by Nickleback
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Penny For My Thoughts ?
Thoughts
I have been having thoughts about how I mentioned a Pentalogy but I am just not sure the story is there. I'm begginig to feel the same way about the S&A piece and I think it is because I am tempted to write something new. I suppose with some of the changed in my life I want to literally start a new chapter. . . . I just have to find out what it is.
That is not to say they won't happen just not anytime soon ):
Despite all of this I did manage to put together a fun short that I mentioned earlier.
Sofia/Clara
Yes, this is written in cannon but is it cannon ? could be but probably. This is mostly because Sofia's story ends in 2009 and Clara's ends in 2011 but they are the same age as they are in their respective stories (21,26).
I really didn't think this was going to happen but it was fun. I actually like writing about women (in general) and it was nice not having to think "like a man". It dabbles in realism a little bit but as this is new to me, I know some of this will come off as stereotypical.
Now I'm really tempted to write a more humorous side story for our male leads.
Stand In The Rain
Thursday, January 6, 2011
TMI Post (becasue it is taking up space)
Coffee Break
Bonus Playlist
Alternate Ending Songs
One Thing - Finger Eleven
Keep Holding On - Boyce Ave.
Alternate Songs When Rose Tries to kill Clara
I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic At The Disco
Thanks For The Memories - Falloutboy
Vida La Vida Meet Love Story - Jon Schmidt.
I've had this song since I started HOF, . The orignal ending had the characters parting and then meeting up again at the end of the chapter.
+++
Inspiration
The idea from DSI came from a lot of sources. The first being when someone asked me If Clara could have kids in LL and also when another commenter pointed out that Clara should warn the Bordeaux’s about the curse
The biggest inspiration came in chapter six of HOF when Mr. Fierro realizes that how “pretty” everything and everyone is in the DeLune family. He says
. . . I studied the generations of the family posted along the wall. How easily Mr. Thorpe would fit into such a prominent family legacy. I imagined his picture along the wall, proudly displayed.I considered making this part of the plot however I realized that Clara would not sleep with anyone unless they told her they loved her (which he does) but if Mr. Fierro did love her he wouldn’t deceive her. . . so I scraped the idea.
Roger had taken a son and wife from me all those years ago, perhaps I should take a[great] grandchild from him. I almost laughed at the thought.
The other inspiration was the quotes from Chapter 7 and 10 of HOF when Clara talks to Mr. Fierro about traveling together and deep down inside I liked the idea of them planning a future and then one of them “dying” .
Horror Movies ?
Rosalie is the Red Herring
"Philosophy, to be more exact, let's consider the idea of rebirth. Not entirely impossible, no ?"Here it is referring to Lucie gaining her humanity to back. The second misdirection was obviously
"No", Emile agreed his eyes trained on his dinner.
"Maybe that's all Lucie needs. A second chance at life to be human again."
"Do you think she deserves it ?", he said begrudgingly
Rosalie’s Father
Also in House Of Fierro there is this, which is similar to the “birth” of snow white. Where the mother cuts herself in the snow.
“ I dragged myself over to where he lay, the fresh wounds on my face still dripped on to the clean white snow.”I didn’t think anyone would catcth the insinuation that Victor’s Spectre raped Clara when she was out-cold in the last few chapters of HOF. Originally this conversation between Clara and Addison got a bit graphic and I felt the characters were to mean to each other.
I wanted to run with this idea. . . but no.
I mostly wanted to run with the above idea because I didn’t realize that Clara had gotten pregnant her first time until someone mentioned it and I felt kind of bad.
Daddy Issues
Said and Donne
Nirvana
I (and someone asked me ) began to wonder myself what would happen if Clara or Mr. Fierro died again. According to Essexs Nightfall was the afterlife and not heaven and that if they were to die again they would go some place else. This idea of being reborn over and over again till your reach Nirvana ties into Eastern Philosphy which is why part of the story took place in an Ashram, where people (The serious die-hard ones) train their mind and body for Nirvana, so they won’t be reborn again. However I like to think that they will return to Nightfall. I just do.
This ties in with S&A because I was going to have Tomas convert to Buddhism but it was way to complex. (btw this is how I got the idea of LL, but I mentioned that already)
Visions
Framed
Alternate Endings
.
I actually wrote the ending quite a few times so another one had Clara and Rosalie seeing Mr. Fierro leave from the dock with Rosalie knowing but not really understanding. however at the last minute he decides to spend the day with them and catch a later boat. 2 years later Martin finds out that Mr. Fierro is Rosalie’s father because he finds a birthday card he sent her. This frightens him so he drowns Rosalie. Therefore the irony is that they gave up their souls so she could die and she does. . .just to soon.
The minute I wrote it I deleted it.
Marriage ?
There is a lot unsaid about their relationship. It just never fit for them to admit that they were still in love with each other. It’s been 3 years so you know.
Any questions ?
What’s next ?
The Sofia/Clara item I'm thinking of writing (for fun) would be in the canon of this.
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