I have no idea how to explain my terrible absence. It's been a mixture of writer's block and just a lot of things,but I have wonderful news ! I have so much material to work with that I don't plan to ever let things get out of hand like this again.
I took some of Shawna's advice and played some classical music and it all just clicked ! I also looked up some new songs I think I'm up to 75 and I have a few new favorites .
I have some few left over things from my last post soooo long ago.
1. I can honestly say that Mrs. Austin and Jane Austen was not at all intentional
Now these next chapters I feel are very interesting I felt that it was more Novel-like than my previous writing, I don't know how to explain it. I'm really happy at how chapter 12 is turning out so you will see it soon.
Here we go with a playlist, once again there are numbers to correspond with each song if you feel so inclined.
I made a little mistake but here goes. I decided to put Petal Brooke in the South and sucking a geography I thought Charleston was in North Carolina and that's how I got the Cat's name. When doing train research I realized that it was in South Carolina but I'd already written everything out to take place in North Carolina, So Charleston's name should be Charlotte or Raleigh.
Pictures
So one of the reasons I have been putting pictures at the bottom is because I know how smart you all are and I feel that they could be spoilers.
I have had the picture of the couple in the field since I started writing Spirits. I just kept it around and when I was done with Spirits I still wanted to use it I just didn't know when. I wanted Sofia & Tomas final conversation of the chapter to be in the Diner again but once they were in the car I thought about how there are sometimes flower fields by highways and that's how I came upon that scene. I cut it off becuase I didn't want to imply a reunion or consolidation
Wildflowers
Joseph, came up with a nice explanation of the wildflowers but in my mind it was Sofia's way of saying that she feels like her life is a waste, because people are going on and out of her life so quickly like cars on the highway
Jon Vs. John
Like my best friend I love Jon Maclaughlin and I have been holding on to Human and Beautiful Disaster for a while. I originally had Beautiful disaster for when Adam leaves but I liked Sideways better. I found Human before I knew it was on Scrubs ( I have two scrubs fans who comment, so) . I love this Beautiful Disaster much more than Kelly Clarkson's.
I know John Mayer's SDIABR sounds a lot like Waiting for the World to change but I took "Slow Dancing" to be a metaphor or euphemism.
If you care here are some bits I liken to the story
I.Beautiful Disaster
She never stays the same for long,
Assuming that she'll get it wrong.
Perfect only in her imperfection.
And she would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster.
II. Human
all these ups and downs,
they trip up our good intentions,
nobody said this was easy ride.
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
Sofia's Pregnancy
So, I tilted with this idea for a while and I'm sure somewhere in a post I told someone in a comment that I wouldn't do it but since writing Emma's part in Chapter 1 it tugged at me and I put it in my notes.
Putting back up the fourth wall Sofia did not sleep with Adam. There was a part in Chapter 9 that was meant to be super-vague where Sofia is sitting on the bathroom floor after she has inseminating herself. I copy & pasted it here :
"I start to wipe my eyes surprised that there are no tears. I slid down the wall till I’m sitting on the bathroom floor trying to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing.
It’s odd being alone in the apartment again but at the same time it’s nice knowing I wouldn’t be bothered. I can’t help but to contemplate what comes next. If in the end I’ll be happy or scared
I guess only time will tell."
There are other super tiny hints that Sofia is pregnant:
In chapter 9 she first uses the words "family "
What little family I had fall apart.
She drinks Masala Chai on the train which is known to help Nausea
Toms notices that the ribbon on her sweater fits tighter
In chapter 9 when Tomas tells her that she can do whatever she wants she replies with "it's never going to be like that" and "I've already done what I want"
In chapter 9 when she tells Tomas that she has" nothing else that yours"
Way back in Chapter 8 when Sofia and Tomas were having their flashbacks. Sofia was thinking about her mother to foreshadow her becoming pregnant and Tomas' flashback is foreshadowing him wanting to end his marriage.
HIV & Pregnancy
Because Tomas is HIV positive he has a very high chance of infecting Sofia or any child he would have. There are certain percentages of infecting or not infecting the fetus but it becomes an ethical dilemma and Sofia realized this.
In addition to all this
I wrote out the part where Sofia approaches a man about paying for his sperm, instead of the bathroom scene it was very short.
I also didn't mention this before but Dr. Amherst was a Gynecologist, I'm not sure if that means anything.
Missing Scenes
So, Shawna once asked me if I regretted anything and I truly hate most of Dear Angel. I don't like the ending or the middle and one of the reasons I didn't write the wedding scene is I didn't know how until now. I think part of this chapter was to remedy some of that.
+++
I think that's all the back tracking here is my extended music list.
1. Winter by Josh Radin
2. Waiting For My Real Life To Begin by Colin Hay
3. In The Sun By Joseph Author
4. Over My Head by The Fray
5. Always Midnight by Pat Monohan
6. Closer by Josh Radin
7. Gravity by John Mayer
8. Dreaming with a Broken Heart by John Mayer
9. These boots are made for walking - Jessica Simpsion
10. Stranger by Secondhand Serenade
11. Someday by Nickelback
12. Collide by Howie Day (Including Acoustic)
13. Everybody by The Backstreet Boys
14. Say by John Mayer
15 No Envy No Fear by Josh Radin
16. A song for you by Donny Hathaway
17. When Love Takes over - Kelly Rowland
18 Realize - Colbie Calliat
19. Honselty - Cary Brother
20. No Reason - Hoobastank
21. Sideways - Citzen Cope
22. Apologize - OneRepublic
23. I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab for A Cutie
I can't believe I let it go this long without posting a blog post. Chapter 9 was pretty short and I'm not all together sure if there was something else I could have added to it. I try to make my chapters 5,000 words long and that one was around 3,500. I think the longest one was chapter 6 at almost 7,000.
Numbers aside I do have a 5,000+ word update for you and a few changes. I decided to only put +number+ when there is music associated with the chapter and the numbers don't start over.
I
+1+Beautiful Disater - Jon Mclaughlin
+2+ To Build a Home - Cinematic Orchestra II +3+Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer
So the last chapter was pretty intersting for me, these next few are going right on down my numerous notes and after doing some collective re-reading I feel like I'm on the right track.
I once read that a good story doesn't have to be told in order and I was very close to not putting this chapter in chronological order but I wanted their to be a progression.
I have a little playlist once again not using the awesome song that I love, but it's in the next chapter !
I.
+1+ & +2+ - Look After You - The Fray II.
+1+ & +2+ - How To Save A Life - The Fray
+3+ - Silent
+4+ - Gotta Get Through This (Acoustic) - Daniel Bedingfield
So, I don't have much to say about the last chapter except that this particular chapter had been my main goal since the beginning. I had planned to make it a dividing point plot-wise but I don't really see the need. When I heard the song I Will Follow You Into the Dark and SidewaysI thought they were perfect for the chapter (thanks, Scrubs !).
Now I'm working on the next few chapters and It's really just notes because the words to make a story just aren't coming to me ): I have been working hard at my other job and taking care of my personal life I think maybe the stress is stunting me ? I hope to work it out soon I have lots of pictures, music and ideas to work from.
Speaking of pictures I wasn't sure what kind of car to give Adam, I knew there were hard-top convertibles but I decided to give him a VW Eos even though they wouldn't have been out yet.
With formatting of the chapter Emotion I added the section with Kasey at the last moment, originally it had Sofia visiting a grief counselor with Severine and Adam picking her up in his car and taking her to New Jersey and then the last section.
I'm not sure why I changed it but I wanted there to be a little more about Tomas and Sofia's relationship and yes there is a reason why they are both reminiscing in the beginning.
I am working on a post that would explain some of my song choices, I don't know if anyone had any request since it was suggested in the comments.
I am also super excited to see what Shawna is going to come up with for November !
I do have an update but it doesn't contain the song that I am totally over-hyping but it will be in the next chapter. I take some poetic licenses with this chapter, I got a lot of help from other writers (not JB) on being a bit more creative. This chapter does contains a lot of things I really wanted to do since the beginning. I also tried to make the +++ pink so if some of them aren't it doesn't mean anything.
