BackTracking

Chapter 10





Petal Brooke, NC



I made a little mistake but here goes. I decided to put Petal Brooke in the South and sucking a geography I thought Charleston was in North Carolina and that's how I got the Cat's name. When doing train research I realized that it was in South Carolina but I'd already written everything out to take place in North Carolina, So Charleston's name should be Charlotte or Raleigh.



Pictures



So one of the reasons I have been putting pictures at the bottom is because I know how smart you all are and I feel that they could be spoilers.



I have had the picture of the couple in the field since I started writing Spirits. I just kept it around and when I was done with Spirits I still wanted to use it I just didn't know when. I wanted Sofia & Tomas final conversation of the chapter to be in the Diner again but once they were in the car I thought about how there are sometimes flower fields by highways and that's how I came upon that scene. I cut it off becuase I didn't want to imply a reunion or consolidation



Wildflowers

Joseph, came up with a nice explanation of the wildflowers but in my mind it was Sofia's way of saying that she feels like her life is a waste, because people are going on and out of her life so quickly like cars on the highway



Jon Vs. John



Like my best friend I love Jon Maclaughlin and I have been holding on to Human and Beautiful Disaster for a while. I originally had Beautiful disaster for when Adam leaves but I liked Sideways better. I found Human before I knew it was on Scrubs ( I have two scrubs fans who comment, so) . I love this Beautiful Disaster much more than Kelly Clarkson's.



I know John Mayer's SDIABR sounds a lot like Waiting for the World to change but I took "Slow Dancing" to be a metaphor or euphemism.



If you care here are some bits I liken to the story



I. Beautiful Disaster



She never stays the same for long,

Assuming that she'll get it wrong.

Perfect only in her imperfection.



And she would change everything for happy ever after.

Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster.



II. Human



all these ups and downs,

they trip up our good intentions,

nobody said this was easy ride.



always fighting what we’re feeling,

hurt instead of healing,



Sofia's Pregnancy



So, I tilted with this idea for a while and I'm sure somewhere in a post I told someone in a comment that I wouldn't do it but since writing Emma's part in Chapter 1 it tugged at me and I put it in my notes.



Putting back up the fourth wall Sofia did not sleep with Adam. There was a part in Chapter 9 that was meant to be super-vague where Sofia is sitting on the bathroom floor after she has inseminating herself. I copy & pasted it here :

"I start to wipe my eyes surprised that there are no tears. I slid down the wall till I’m sitting on the bathroom floor trying to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing.

It’s odd being alone in the apartment again but at the same time it’s nice knowing I wouldn’t be bothered. I can’t help but to contemplate what comes next. If in the end I’ll be happy or scared

I guess only time will tell."

There are other super tiny hints that Sofia is pregnant:

• In chapter 9 she first uses the words "family "
• What little family I had fall apart.
• She drinks Masala Chai on the train which is known to help Nausea
• Toms notices that the ribbon on her sweater fits tighter
• In chapter 9 when Tomas tells her that she can do whatever she wants she replies with "it's never going to be like that" and "I've already done what I want"
• In chapter 9 when she tells Tomas that she has" nothing else that yours"
• Way back in Chapter 8 when Sofia and Tomas were having their flashbacks. Sofia was thinking about her mother to foreshadow her becoming pregnant and Tomas' flashback is foreshadowing him wanting to end his marriage.

HIV & Pregnancy

Because Tomas is HIV positive he has a very high chance of infecting Sofia or any child he would have. There are certain percentages of infecting or not infecting the fetus but it becomes an ethical dilemma and Sofia realized this.

In addition to all this

I wrote out the part where Sofia approaches a man about paying for his sperm, instead of the bathroom scene it was very short.

I also didn't mention this before but Dr. Amherst was a Gynecologist, I'm not sure if that means anything.

Missing Scenes

So, Shawna once asked me if I regretted anything and I truly hate most of Dear Angel. I don't like the ending or the middle and one of the reasons I didn't write the wedding scene is I didn't know how until now. I think part of this chapter was to remedy some of that.

+++

I think that's all the back tracking here is my extended music list.

1. Winter by Josh Radin

2. Waiting For My Real Life To Begin by Colin Hay

3. In The Sun By Joseph Author

4. Over My Head by The Fray

5. Always Midnight by Pat Monohan

6. Closer by Josh Radin

7. Gravity by John Mayer

8. Dreaming with a Broken Heart by John Mayer

9. These boots are made for walking - Jessica Simpsion

10. Stranger by Secondhand Serenade

11. Someday by Nickelback

12. Collide by Howie Day (Including Acoustic)

13. Everybody by The Backstreet Boys

14. Say by John Mayer

15 No Envy No Fear by Josh Radin

16. A song for you by Donny Hathaway

17. When Love Takes over - Kelly Rowland

18 Realize - Colbie Calliat

19. Honselty - Cary Brother

20. No Reason - Hoobastank

21. Sideways - Citzen Cope

22. Apologize - One Republic

23. I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab for A Cutie

24. Look After You - The Fray

25. How To Save A Life - The Fray

26. Gotta Get Through This - Daniel Bedingfield

27. Beautiful Disaster - Jon Mclaughlin

28. Human - Jon Mclaughlin

29. Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

30. To Build A Home - Cinematic Orchestra